Being a Mom

Really, I think the title of this particular blog says it all. If I were to end it here and post it, I think there are many many moms out there who would get it, and agree. But I can't just leave it at that but the more I delve into it, you may or may not find yourself relating. I find that maybe I have some really odd ideas about motherhood. I love my kids, but they didn't come with instructions or an on/off switch (and oh, how convenient that would be sometimes). And even worse, when they are tiny it's all trial and error on what might be wrong because they can't even tell you, other than crying, and maybe I'm just not that smart, but I can't always tell what each and every cry might mean. And oh the whining. And when they hurt, you hurt with them, there have even been a few times where I cried with them. I believe I have been blessed, because for the most part, my kids aren't difficult, a few of them have been more needy than the others, but really, they've all been fairly easy going compared to what I've seen some mother's go through. 

It is rare that I go anywhere without my kids, if not all of them, at least one or two. But there are occasions when I do get out on my own, and sometimes, just those 15 minutes, or one, two hours, are an absolute relief, and then I feel selfish. This is one of the big reasons I don't go many places without them. It's not that I can't find anyone I trust to watch them, because there are several people I feel plenty comfortable leaving them with, and when we visit family, I trust them with the kids, but it feels selfish to go out and leave them with other people. They are my kids, their welfare is my responsibility all of the time. This is why the husband and I don't get out much. You wouldn't think once a week, or even once a month, or once every two months would be such a big deal for us to go do something. Well, other than the fact there isn't much to do around here that either of us are really interested in, I just can't shake that guilty feeling that I'm being selfish by dumping my kids off on someone else. So, even if I do get out, as much of a relief as it is sometimes, I have this sense of urgency that I need to get back right away. Whether this is a valid response or not, who knows. But, I look at other couples, parents, who are going out several times a month/week, and I can't help but wonder if they don't feel they are being as selfish as I feel they are. Maybe I'm a little jealous. Who knows. Maybe it's a combination of these. 

New Books!

I just placed an order for books from Barnes and Noble, yay! The last couple of times I've bought books they've all been for the kids. I love books and I don't take nearly enough time to read for myself as I should. I know this would be different if I was taking classes or something, but it's just not an option right now. Right now my focus is my family and teaching and raising them. Later, I would definitely like to go back to school, and I think it will be much better, it will be challenging, but I think I will get much more out of it than when I was younger. 


So, I have decided that until I can go back to school, I will read and learn and do on my own. I have a list of books I would like to read this year, and I'm sure the list will grow as the year goes on, but I've begun to fulfill that list by ordering some books, yay! I am hoping that I can also get some of the books that I am wanting in MP3 format as well, because sometimes I do enjoy listening as well, and it will be much easier to listen to my Ipod (or Iphone when I finally get it!) and tick off some of those books.


Well, I have a picture of dinner from last night.

It is Pork Loin, baby carrots and mashed potatoes with gravy. 

Prep time: 20 minutes

Cook time: 5 to 6 hours

To make the rub for the pork I combined equal amounts of: Sea Salt, Peppercorn, Onion Flakes, Garlic Salt, Cajun Seasoning. Rub evenly on pork loin, paying particular attention to the meaty sections. Use two or three dashes of liquid smoke patted on the loin. Sear all sides meat to lock in the rub. Place seared loin into a baking pan or slow cooker with baby carrots and enough water to cover the carrots. If placing in the oven, cover pork with a sheet of foil. Oven temp should be 285 degrees. Slow cooker on high if you are doing the 5 to 6 hour method, low for 8-10 hours. I used mashed potatoes out of the box and gravy from a packet, which took me about 15 minutes just before serving.

I'm all for making dinners fast and easy being as busy as I am with the kids. So, any short cuts I can take, I do. Making mashed potatoes the long way with actual potatoes is wonderful and tasty if you have the time. Luckily, my family is happy either way. Using some of the pork juices and a teaspoon or two of flour to make gravy would not have taken a long time, but putting a couple of packets together with some water worked just as well. 

Anyway, I will share my meals with you this year as well, at least the ones that may interest you. 

That's all I got for today.

Happy New Year!!

All right, it's 2010. I'm trying to get back into the blogging mode this year. I took quite a break last year, but I'm ready to give the world my opinion, right or wrong, nice or not so nice, once again. There will be a heavy dose of what is going on in our lives here at home at the time, as well as recipes and meal ideas. I cook mainly out of necessity, sometimes I love it, sometimes I don't, but it's what's best for my family, and as easy and pain free as it is to eat out on a regular basis, it's expensive and not what we need to be doing. 


I've been debating on getting an Iphone, and I'm pretty much set now that it is definitely the phone I want, I've side by side compared the Iphone, Blackjack, Solstice, Blackberry, and HTC, the Iphone has everything I want. Now it's just to research how much it's going to actually add to my service because if it's too much, I'll just have to stick with what I've got.


There is so much going on in the world today, and I can tell you that I can only take about 30 minutes of news at a time because by the time it's done, I just want to hurt somebody, how can we be so stupid to have put so many of the wrong people in such positions of power and the ones that are riding along the coat-tails that we seem to have no say over. It's just like some of these celebraties (yes I spelled it wrong on purpose) out there, they have people who jump on their coat tails and try to ride their way to fame and a lot of them are unscrupulous bastards with no morals, and none of them, politicians, famous people, etc. none of them live in the real world. They live in some fantasy world and they want to take us all there, well, no thanks. Being rich would be nice, but sometimes money isn't all it's cracked up to be. Of course that's said by someone who doesn't have a lot of it. But then again, neither did Jesus. 


"And Jesus said to his disciples, 'Truly, I say to you, it will be had for rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.' When the disciples heard this they were greatly astonished saying, 'Who then can be saved?' But Jesus looked at them and said to them, 'With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'  Then Peter said in reply, 'Lo, we have left everything and followed you, What then shall we have?' Jesus said to them, 'Truly, I say to you, in the new world, when the Son of man shall sit on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones,judging the twelve trives of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or fathers or mothers or children or lands, for my name's sake, will receive a hundred-fold, and inherit eternal life. But many that are first will be last, and the last first.'


-Matthew 19: 23-30

Thanksgiving and more...

Well, the kids and I drove to Vegas last week for Thanksgiving, with the help of my brother and his girlfriend. Normally, I'm not one to ask for help, but with the arrival of Brenna in September, she being as little as she is, the hubby being in Australia, and everyone not wanting me to travel through the desert alone with all the kids, I let it happen. So, my brother and his girlfriend left at some ungodly hour Thanksgiving morning and then drove back with the kids and I, just in time for Thanksgiving dinner with my parents. Dinner was great, and the kids and I had a good visit, they love being outside and now that my parents are on the same property as the horses, well, that just gives the kids lots more to do.

Of course, kids being kids, they never want to stop, and when the adults were tired, they were still eager to go. It got a little irritating after a while because there really was no where to send them off to play, we were all in the same space all the time. So, as nice as it was to visit since we hadn't been there in almost a year, it was just as nice to get home. 


Now the next few weeks will be spent getting Meg caught up with school so that we are on track for the second semester. I'm still not sure that the charter school is the way to go, I really enjoyed last semester when we were home schooling all on our own. It's a lot like public school, and I really thought that was what I was trying to get away from. I don't know, I just don't know. I guess we are going to tough it out for this year and I will have to see where we are this summer. I'm going to have to make the same decision for Killian since he will be starting Kindergarten next fall. Yipes, why does being a parent have to be so hard?


We are having Christmas at our house this year. We are really looking forward to that. Travelling is so hard on all of us. It's hard to build family traditions when we always do something different. Of course, I don't know how many people actually do family traditions anymore, it seems as though the more electronic and mobile we are, the less we tend to stay home and create memories and traditions. So, we will be working on holiday baking, which will help Meghan with fractions, measuring, and cooking in general, making some home made gifts, the hubby wants to decorate the outside of the house as well as the inside. I'm not quite sure how the inside will work since we have a 2 year old who likes to get into and touch EVERYTHING she's not supposed to. We've only actually decorated for Christmas a handful of times since we've been married. I'm such a scrooge. But, it really sucks to do all the work of decorating, when we won't even be home on Christmas to really enjoy it, and then you get home, not only do you have to unpack, but then you have to take down and put all the decorations away as well. Pointless as far as I'm concerned. Maybe we will make it a rule that while all the kids are little, we will spend Christmas at home, no matter where we are living, and whoever wants to and is able to, can join us. Maybe I wouldn't be such a scrooge then. Who knows, I think it's worth a shot. 


Anyway, today I took the kids to the Winter Festival put on by MCCS here on 29 Palms. The kids got to see Santa and we had a nice lunch. We didn't really do any of the other activities, it was a lot colder than I had originally thought it was, and I just wasn't very well prepared. Plus we stood in line for an hour and fifteen minutes just for the kids to sit on Santa's lap for less than a minute, and Keeley really wasn't even too keen on that little bit of time. She talks a good game, but when it comes to actually doing it, not so much. But I have to wait until Monday to see how the picture turned out. I'm hoping it's not too awful.

Long time, no blog.

Let me tell you, it's been so long since I've been here. Almost a year. In fact, my last blog was on my oldest daughter's last birthday and she will be having another birthday in less than a month. I've really missed blogging, but really so much has happened since my last blog that it really to blog about it all, you'd have thought I was insane. Well, you still might think that, but I think it's time to get back on the horse. Some things have changed around here, and some things haven't. 


The hubby has been home most of the year, with the exception of some travelling for schools and training throughout the year. He is actually gone right now. He is missing Thanksgiving, but it's for a good cause, great opportunity, and what not. He is down-under for another week and a half. I will be glad when he is home again. I've gotten used to having him around more often, although I suppose I shouldn't, it's hard not to. 


I became a mommy for the fourth time in September. We added another little girl to the mix. We believe we are finished, our family is complete, 6 is a beautiful number. I am still home schooling our oldest, and I am also doing pre-school with our son this year in preparation for officially starting Kindergarten next year. 


Anyway, I'm headed to Las Vegas tomorrow for Thanksgiving. Will be the first time I've been up there since Christmas. Will be spending a few extra days there and coming back early next week. No plans to do anything for black Friday this year, not really interested. The hubby and I are planning on doing Christmas shopping for the kids after he gets back. He wanted to decorate the house too, we'll see if he still wants to do that when he gets back. I think we are planning on Christmas here, so he probably will. Guess we'll see. 


Happy Thanksgiving. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday!

Home Owner......NOT!

Well, I thought we were well on our way to being homeowners. In these tough economic times we were going to take full advantage of the situation and get an awesome house that we probably wouldn't be able to touch in most other circumstances. And honestly, going in, I had no intention on really getting in to a house. I figured we wouldn't find anything as nice as base housing in the price range we were looking for. I was going to be totally detached from the whole thing and just look with an open mind. And then we found the house.

It was small at 1265 sqft. And it had 3 bedrooms which meant the girls were going to have to share at some point. It didn't have a formal dining area. And it didn't have a fence yet.

It was on 2.14 acres, it had a finished attached 2 car garage that would have made an awesome master suite one day. It had berber carpet in the bedrooms, it had slate tile in the bathrooms, and wood flooring in the rest of the house. All of the main living areas were in the front half of the house, bathrooms and bedrooms on the back half of the house. The kitchen was beautiful with tiled countertops and all stainless steel appliances, recessed lighting and a ceiling fan. There were ceiling fans in every room. Crown molding throughout the house, granite countertops in the bathrooms. Both the living room and master bedroom exited out onto the patio, which would have been a lovely place for a hot tub. There was plent of lighting on the outsides of the house.

Our counter of their counter offer was accepted our application was accepted at our bank, all of the paperwork was set, our home inspection was to be today. But Friday we backed out of the deal.

All of the hopes and dreams I had started allowing myself to have about the house, gone. I had been a little worried about the size, but was sure we could make it work for us, for such a beautiful house with so much potential at the price and interest rate we were getting. Eventually we were going to do the garage and add a detached garage, do some landscaping, make some memories. And best of all, we'd have had it paid off before we were 50. We would have owned something worth almost twice as much as what we were going to pay for it. And the construction looked solid. You can't say that about many houses these days. We wouldn't have had anyone in our business, very few neighbors.

The housing market and us

I wrote a little bit about this on MySpace the other day, but I wanted to talk some more about this. The housing market is in a really bad place right now. And really, I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for the people who didn't read all the fine print and all the people who just assumed they would be making $400, $500, $1000 more a month to be able to cover their mortgage payment when it ballooned out of control. Nobody thought it would be so bad. I did. If you've listened to me talk about houses and Real Estate over the last 5-8 years, you would have heard me say the bubble is going to burst, the bottom is going to fall out as soon as these adjustable mortgages adjust. These houses aren't worth $250,000 or more. It's absolutely ridiculous. Now, as much as I said all of that, I know most people only heard me with half an ear or didn't hear me at all, or just plain didn't want to believe it. I mean, the husband and I did make an awful Real Estate decision ourselves, and we wouldn't be where we are today, more than likely, if my parents hadn't bailed us out. Honestly, I never expected the bailout, I am very grateful and relieved for it, and it answered a lot of our prayers, but I didn't expect it. I sure didn't expect the government to bail us out of our stupid decision. Hopefully, it's all worked out now and eventually the future will show that it was to everyone's benefit. I continually worry about it and hope for that anyway.

We are now in a position that we can put a nice size down payment on a house and we are pre-approved for a decent amount, and we can get a decent rate with a good payment on a 15 year fixed rate home. That's right folks, if we find the right place, we could finally own our own home outright, shortly after the husband retires! He might even stay in just a little bit longer if it helps us pay off the house. And while retiring in Twentynine Palms wasn't the original plan, we are flexible if it's the right house. So, we've gotten our pre-approval, we've been in contact with our bank who has a program where they will set us up with a Real Estate Agent, we've researched what our potential electric (both in summer and winter), gas/propane, water, trash, and insurance bills will be to make sure that we get something where we can not only afford the mortgage payment but also all of those other household expenses on our BAH. Our cable/satellite, phone, we already know that we usually can make those come out of our base pay at some point. We've researched the market trends here in Thentynine Palms enough to know that people are still trying to get an assload out of houses that they just aren't going to get because they paid far more than they were worth, unless they find a buyer who hasn't done any research. We've researched enough to know that about 30% of the houses on the market are actually in foreclosure or are short-sells, and that they are not getting any offers on most of these, so the banks, etc are pretty much at our mercy. So, we are going to go out there and take full advantage of this buyers market and get the most house we can for our money, and actually, we aren't going to try to get a huge ass house that's going to take an assload of money to heat/cool, etc. We just really want a nice newer house that will allow us to have some fun doing a few upgrades but doesn't NEED a lot of work, raise our kids and entertain on occassion and that we will either be able to retire in if we so choose or to actually be able to get some equity in and sell if we decide that we want to retire somewhere else. God knows where the housing market in 29 Palms will be in 15 years or so, but hopefully if we are smart and careful we will have a house that is still worth something. If not, I guess we will be retiring here, lol.

Stay tuned and I'll definitely let you know how everything goes.