Not keeping up....

I know it's been a while since I've blogged. I seem to have trouble keeping up with this thing...it's all I can do most of the time to keep up with life and my kiddos. This year has seen a lot of huge changes for us though and I just know they are going to keep on coming. 

We are no longer in 29 Palms. I am both happy and sad about this to be honest. Yes, it's in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the desert, but on the other hand, I met some really great people. Of course along with the really great people, there were those that weren't so great, so like everything else you take the good with the bad. But, we have finally purchased a house of our own! With the housing market in Las Vegas as bad as it is, we totally took advantage and got a mother of a good deal. We have a house that is big enough for us forever, and in all honestly once the kids are grown, it may be a little big, depending on how close they stay to us. But, there are so many things we would like to do to the house, it should be lots and lots of fun! And I'm sure we'll never run out of things to do around here. No, the hubby did not get out of the Marine Corps yet. He still has a ways to go until retirement. So, we bought him a travel trailer. You might think this is a terrible thing, why aren't we with him when we can be and all that good stuff. Well, we aren't that far apart, and sure it's not going to be easy, but even when we are with him, it's never easy. He is going to be at schools and deploying and all that stuff, and he works late, the time he spends with us on his time off is more quality then when we are living with each other. It's hard to believe for some, but it's true. The time we have together is always precious, but sometimes the day to day gets you so screwed up that you forget that. Not being together all of the time, you learn to remember that. 

That being said, he is now on leave and will be home tomorrow until after the New Year! We plan on having a wonderful holiday and enjoying the time we are together. After his leave the time will be very short and he will be leaving for Quantico to attend WOBC. He should graduate in late May, the kids and I are looking forward to our first trip out to the east coast to see his graduation and do some site seeing! The hubs and I think it will be a great educational trip for our oldest, not sure if the younger 3 will get alot out of it, well, maybe the 6 year old, but the other two won't remember it. So maybe one day we will get to go back for them, but we'll see. 

I hate the men that he is currently working for, so I am looking forward to him getting to his new shop in June. And I'm looking forward to spending some quality time at the beach here and there too ;0) Taking some actual trips in our new travel trailer instead of him just living in it all the time!

Well, I have more stuff, but it's getting late and my thoughts are getting jumbled. So for now, I'm going to go.

Later! 

Summertime.

Well, it's summertime. I don't know where the time has gone, it just seems to have flown by in the blink of an eye. And I know that it is only going to go faster the rest of the year. I've already purchased some of the kid's curriculum so that we can begin our school year already. So, once it gets here we will be starting, so that we can take breaks whenever we want. And to catch up on a few things as well. I'm going to probably have to buy Meghan's math program new because I can't seem to find a decent used price on it. If I'm going to pay almost full price for something, I might as well just spend the few extra dollars, buy it new and get free shipping. That's how I think of it anyway, maybe I'm wrong. I did get a bunch of the books, like social studies, Killian's math, and Meghan's language arts, and science used, I ended up spending a total of $46.00 including shipping, which is a quite a savings. There are still a few more things I need, but like I said, not too shabby. Waiting for it all to get here is a killer though. I hate how slow the mail is. Anyway, here are some of the books we are going to be using: "Mathematics Their Way" for Killian, it should take him all the way through second grade. It's supposed to be very hands on and give him a good handle on the basics. I really wish I would have known about this book with Meghan. She did Kindergarten and 1st grade in public school and whatever they did, didn't give her a good foundation of the basics, so now we are needing to go back. But, I digress. We are going to use "Social Studies through Children's Literature" for both Meghan and Killian, I'm just going to give them activities that are age appropriate, but the information will be the same. Meghan and I are also going to do a unit study on the Founding Fathers with the book, "Lives of the Signers of the Declaration of Independence". and once we finish that I'm hoping to do the book about the lives of the signers wives and families, if I can get my hands on a copy of that book. Then for Meghan we are going to do our whole Language Arts program all rolled into one, using "Learning Language Arts Through Literature". This is actually the program I'm most excited about. I'm really tired of having to do spelling, vocabulary, grammar, literature, and writing all seperate. This will tie everything together, and in the long run, I really think it's better. Meghan is more likely to retain what she is learning. I'm still looking for some used reference books, but it seems like encyclopedia's and such are more and more on the computer instead of in sets. Like Grolier online and Encyclopedia Brittanica. I'm not sure what we are going to do computer-wise. My desktop is dead and I use my laptop most of the time. Casey doesn't use his daily, but when he needs it he needs it and when he travels he takes it with him. And he is going to be gone quite a bit here and there for more classes and schools and whatnot, so I'm thinking that it may be time to give my laptop to the kids and maybe, just maybe get myself a brand spankin' new one. I'm not real keen on getting another desktop, I don't know why, I do like having a nice big screen to look at, but at the same time, it's just a PITA and takes up a lot of space that I just don't have. They are all eventually going to need their own computer time, and as time goes on they will probably need their own computers. Luckily, as expensive as they are, they aren't as ridiculous expensive as they once were. You can pick up a good one that will go online and do simple things for under $1000. My LCD is messed up in the bottom corner of my laptop, but luckily, it isn't affecting it's functionality, so the kids could still get lots of use out of it potentially. Casey would like one of those little bitty laptops, to make it easier to travel with, so we may be getting him a new one at some point in the near future as well. I guess we'll just see where it all ends up. For now, we are plugging along with what we have. I can't wait to one day have a room just for the kids' school stuff/office/craft area. With lots of storage options.
It's looking more and more like Casey will be taking time off he didn't plan on taking this summer. We are still in the getting it approved stage, but they don't seem to need him at work anymore so, we are hoping that attitude holds over into getting it signed off on. He loved work, he really enjoyed this shop and then he went away for two weeks, came back, and things have just gone to shit with the new command. Figures. I mean we knew it was coming. You can't have a bunch of East Coast guys come in, take over, and NOT have things go to shit. It's that whole East Coast mentality that if it doesn't suck, it's not being done right bs. You may think I'm stereotyping, exaggerating, or whining, but really, I've seen it for myself first hand. I'm not saying it's everyone from the East Coast, and everyone from the West Coast is just smarter (obviously not or CA wouldn't be broke). I'm saying the mentality is totally different in how people handle things. There is a reason the shop out here was one of the best. It worked. I just pray that things work out in September and we get the word we're waiting for OR that we can get the heck out of Dodge another way if it doesn't. And that's all I'm going to say for now.

Busy Busy Busy

If there was ever a time I just wanted to stop, and think, and take a breath, I think the world might just end. That's what it feels like sometimes. I wish for more peaceful moments in my daily life. But, sometimes there's just none to be had. If I just step out to the garage or out to get the mail for a minute, all heck tends to break loose. It's like there's this switch in everyone in the house and as soon as I am more than 10 feet from them, it goes off and says, "Mom's not here, where's mom, let's scream, and hit each other, and jump off the couch and bark", etc. etc. Kids and dogs go nuts. There are times I can get a shower without worrying about who's taking what from who and what not, but then sometimes it's that "too quiet" worry. They are too quiet what are they doing now??? Usually it's something like taking a sharpie to the wall, or feeding the bulldog their apple or all of the snacks that were left in the bag, or putting a whole roll of toilet paper in the toilet or stringing it through the house so the bulldog can then get a hold of it and "help" make it even messier by tearing it up into little pieces. And of course, the older kids, never realize that the younger one is up to no good because they are too busy doing whatever they do and not including the little one so she is left to her own devices, even though I asked them to watch a specific cartoon and color or play such and such toys nice and quiet just so I can get a quick shower. So, you might ask why I don't just take a shower when the husband gets home. Well, that's all well and good, and I do do that on many occassions, but he's an EOD tech and a Marine, he's away from home A LOT. I have to be able to get a shower when he's not here, so the kids have to be able to behave for 10 minutes while I do it. So, we keep trying. Sometimes it goes well, and sometimes, as demonstrated above, it doesn't. Such is the life, I suppose.

I have decided that this summer I am going to take some days and just drive around to all the different little thrift shops up in this area and see if I can find some reference books for the kids. Since we are dropping the charter school after the end of their year, and we are going on our own, I am going to need a few things. And while I think the library is a good thing, I'm just not a good library patron. Dragging all the kids there, trying to make them be quiet, and then picking out a few books, only to not take them back on time because I just can't get out of the house, I forget, or whatever. I prefer to have my books, I prefer to be able to keep them, and if there is a book I don't like or don't want, I can always sell it to someone else. In fact, I don't mind buying used books, either. So, we are going to need a set of encyclopedias, not too ancient, but not new enough to cost a lot. My parents used to have these two sets of books, one had lots of stuff like each volume was different, one set had volumes on marine life, land animals, reptiles etc. and then the other set where different volumes of fairy tales, nursery rhymes, etc. I used to love those books when I was little. Before I could read I would just look at all the pictures and stuff, and when I could read, I did. I read them all the time. I used them for reports and lots of stuff. Now to just see if my parents remember the names of the books, because I sure don't, lol... But, I think maybe if I have that kind of stuff in the house, it can only help. Being able to look up things they want to read about, and reading just because, will be great. For the little ones too. I'm excited for summer to come so I can begin my search....

Baby

I recently did all of the kids spring/summer wardrobe shopping and purging the old that no longer fits, put the winter stuff away, all that good stuff. Well, I think I did pretty good. I'm probably going to have to get a few more things in another month or so, but I got us a good start. The one thing that I never think about when buying clothes is pajamas. I don't know why. Maybe because I don't really wear them? Maybe because my kids don't really wear them. They just sleep in a clean shirt and underwear, unless of course we go camping or stay with family or what not. Regardless, I bought no pajamas for anyone. Well, it's still rather chilly here at night and the sleepers I had for the baby, well, they just don't fit her anymore. And really, they are kind of a pain. I really like her infant gowns, but she outgrew those. Onesies were still a little bit not quite enough, if you know what I mean. So, I looked and looked for something. And you know what I found? Aden and Anais. I thought, well, it's a bit pricey, but they look so cute and comfy, lightweight yet better than nothing. I bought two single layer sleeping bags and one four layer sleeping bag.  I am so hooked. I absolutely love these bags! If I could afford to buy four more right now, I would. I put her in a onesie, short or long sleeve depending on how the temp in the house is, and put her in the sleeping bag, and she stays nice and comfy all night. And the best thing is that she can't kick it off. My kids are notorious for kicking off their blankets every night, this totally takes care of that. If they made them for my 10 year old, I would buy her one, too! lol. And the four layer will be perfect for when we go camping and in the winter time. Anyway, I will probably be buying more soon. I want to have at least enough for a full week. It's not that I don't like washing clothes, but with 6 people now in this house, laundry can be a full time job as it is, and only having enough for a few days, means washing more, and well, that just doesn't always happen...even if I'd like it to. 

I finally bought a new vacuum. I went with a Bissell. I could not spend $400+ on a vacuum right now, but I had to have something different because it wasn't picking up the bulldogs hair at all. Well, it's too soon to tell exactly how happy I am with this vacuum. I need to give it a few more uses to really say. I can say that I'm leaning toward sending it back or exchanging it right now. It's a very nice vacuum, but it doesn't seem to be working exactly like I was expecting it to. It works better than my current Bissell, but not seemingly as well as the bazillion reviews I was reading. I am impressed with everything except for the pet hair pickup. So, I will let you all know in a week or so what I really think, and if it's going to be a keeper or not.

So, the husband is home right now. He will be going to visit some family in Oklahoma at the end of April and the kids and I aren't going with him, too expensive for us all to fly, and he didn't want to drive. So, instead the kids and I are going to hang with my parents for the week. It actually worked out quite well, because I will get to spend some time with some awesome friends from Texas whom I haven't seen in about 2 years. It's hard to believe it's been that long at the same time it seems like it's been forever. My third child was only 9 months old when we last hung out and now she is almost three and my fourth is here and almost 7 months! It's just amazing the amount of things that can happen in such a short amount of time. 

Anyway, after he gets back from the visit with his family, he will be slammed with work for the rest of May, and  he'll have duty, his chain of command will be changing and we aren't really looking forward to his replacement coming in, other than the fact that he won't have so much on his plate, but that can be a good or a bad thing. Then in June he'll start travelling. Most of our summer will be spent with him going here and there and everywhere. The oldest goes to camp the first week in August, and then there's another course for the husband which is like 6 weeks at Pendleton. So, while he's Stateside, he's not really here. I am grateful that he's not deployed right now, I've really just had enough of that for a while. I know it's coming again, but we have a while yet. I'm just at the point where, I'd like him to go away for a little while, but only because I just don't know what to do with him when he's here. I don't know what he wants from me, and what I give him never seems to be enough. I love my husband, but sometimes, I just wish living with him was easier. I know he wishes the same of me, and I would really like to help him with that. I'm tired of being resentful all of the time. But I'm working on it. I'm working on improving myself, and I guess that's all I can do.

A good friend of mine is starting Curves, since the one here in 29 Palms is offering a smashing military deal right now. She did it before and she really liked it. I've heard mixed reviews from other people. So, if you've done it/do it what did/do you think. She wants me to do it with her and we would then be able to hold each other accountable. I'm just not sure. I don't want to spend the money on it and have it be a waste because it sucks and I don't do it. 

Anyway, I'm watching a guinea pig do facebook and can't concentrate on what I was saying, so I'm gonna go. The weekend is over and we have lots of school to accomplish this week. I have a new list of books for next year for the oldest and my son, I'm really looking forward to doing some more research. I want this next school term to be fun and educational. I know it's possible. I just have to find the right things.....

Time to Blog

I've pretty much come to the realization that I'm not going to blog as often as I would like. As much as I use Facebook, and the amount of energy I put into my comments and whatnot, I just don't have much left for daily rantings here as well, lol. And that really seems like all that I am good for lately, ranting and raving about everything. I started a written journal today. I miss writing. There is nothing wrong with typing, but from a young age I would write and write and write. The other day I found my journal from high school. I can hardly believe that it hasn't bitten the dust at some point during our many many moves. Before the internet became such a daily thing in my life, I used to write letters upon letters and journals.  My oldest definitely didn't get my love of writing. Getting her to write anything is like pulling teeth. Like I'm torturing her. Of course schooling at all right now is like torture, for the both of us. She hates the work, I dislike the curriculum very much. Which is what my journal is about. It is going to chronicle my journey to finding a curriculum that I like, that works for each one of my children, and that helps me teach them the things they need to know academically and life skills-wise. 

I get to start blank canvas with my son this fall as he will just finally officially be starting kindergarten. We've been working with different preschool things off and on for the last year and a half, but we get to be official this fall. And my oldest will no longer be with the charter school we are currently with as she goes on her own as well. Of course I will have to file our private school affidavit this fall, I'm wondering if I can use the same school name I registered with previously, or if it will send up all sorts of flags since I didn't file this year because we went with the charter school? Guess I have to do some research. I kinda liked our school name, so hopefully we can keep it. 

So, while I am researching school names, and curriculum for both children, I am also reading and learning myself. Right now, I'm very much into learning the history that I didn't learn in high school...or college for that matter. I took two history classes in college and still didn't know some of the things I'm learning now. I'm particularly interested in how we got on this progressive path we are on, our Founding Fathers, and learning more about the progressives, liberals and how they think, and their "forefathers" so to speak. Right now I'm reading about FDR and the Great Depression and his New Deal, and I'm also reading a book by Saul Alinsky. It's rather dry material, but I definitely like the history book rather than the liberal book, lol. To think like a liberal is very tiring. There is no rationale, the thinking goes round and round and doesn't really stop in any particular place other than they are the correct way of thinking and how to get everyone to agree with them.

Anyway, so as I do all this I'm trying to also figure out ways to save money while home schooling. I dislike the library. I like to keep books. I like to have them to refer back to, I like to be able to take as much time as I want with them. And if a little one marks in it, I don't have to cry and pay for it anyway. That being said. I'm not against used books. I would especially love to find a set of used encyclopedias, good dictionary, thesaurus, and other reference materials. I have some smaller books that I've bought over the years, but it would be nice to have something that is kid friendly and that I didn't have to pay an arm and a leg to have. Of course, in order to have all of these books, I would have to have a place to put them. I don't, right now. But, I'm working on figuring that out. I really need a cabinet that I can lock and keep the little ones out of, and the bigger ones too, for that matter. My supplies are always disappearing, and when I need them, are no where to be found. That gets super annoying.

Anyway, now that I'm starting to ramble, that means it's getting super late and it's time for me to stop. 

I'll be back...

Organization and Me....

If you really knew me, you would know that while I try very hard to be organized, I'm just not. I don't feel like I'm as bad as any of the episodes of Hoarders that I've seen, but if I'm not careful, I could probably go there. I'm a huge packrat, always have been, ever since I was a kid. I don't know why. I purge different rooms of the house all the time, but before I can get to the next room, the other room is all jacked up again. Clothes are just about the worse thing. We keep most of our clothes in the laundry room downstairs. I realize that is not what most people do, but we spend the majority of our time downstairs, the washer and dryer are downstairs, dragging clothes up and down the stairs all of the time sucks. I guess maybe I'm lazy. But, when we take showers and baths it's just easier to grab what we need from the laundry room and head upstairs. And clothes we just don't need. I donate some of the clothes the kids outgrow, but not all of them. I mean, with 4 kids, only two of them can really do hand me downs, so, I need to get what I can out of some of them, so I try to ebay or yard sale, but that is a PITA as well. 

Our homeschool stuff is out of control, and while I think I may have a solution that will work until we get a house of our own and can feel like we can invest in a really nice bookshelf because they are expensive and I would hate to have movers break it and then have to replace it....

Excuses excuses, I could come up with a million more as to why I can't get organized the way I envision being organized. You know, those house you walk into, and they are done to down to the vases with flowers. Nothing at all on the floors, no toys, no shoes, no trash from kids just throwing stuff on the floor. I don't know how people with kids do it. I've tried to not let them have toys downstairs, make them play in their rooms, but it just seems to be unrealistic. Especially for the 2 year old. She is a tornado. The older two have gotten so much better, but the 2 year old, she is a tornado. It is a constant fight trying to keep things picked up just to a level where it's inhabitable. I clean something everyday. It needs it again by the next day. Really. I mop once a week. It's clean for maybe an hour or two. I've decided that I could do laundry 24 hours a day, never really getting it all done.

Paperwork kills me. I keep only the important stuff, but it gets out of control so quickly. I have a small filing cabinet, I probably need one of those big 4 drawer ones, but if I had it, I'd have no place to put it.

And craft stuff. I love my crafts. And even if I haven't used something in years, at some point I will need it for something and use it. I'm always trying to make something when I can find a minute. But, I don't have space for it all. I don't know what to do with it. I can't get rid of it. I don't want to have to buy it again when I'm ready for it, ya know? 

I don't know why I can't just be one of those obsessive compulsive anal women who clean until their fingers bleed....

Need to get this off my chest.....

There's not a lot of places I feel like I can just let it go, too many people watching every word I say and what not. I mean, it's my own fault, I've allowed those closest to me in my life access to all my opinions all the time at MySpace, Facebook, and the like. I know I've shared this blog before, but as far as I know, I only get comments from one person and I'm cool with that. It's when I know people are paying attention that I feel like I have to choose my words carefully. I realize that the internet is the last place to look for privacy. And in a way, I'm not really looking for privacy, I want people to hear what I have to say, but sometimes I don't want any advice or know it all-ism's or sarcasm (coming from the princess of sarcasm, I know). I just want to get shit off my chest and leave it out there. Period. I really don't care if anyone else feels that way, if I'm a shitty person for feeling a certain way, etc. etc. I just want to feel it and maybe then, just maybe, I can let it stop eating me up.

Like, I am a sorry excuse for a mother. Everyone always says what a great mom I am and how I'm so amazing, yada, yada, yada. First off, I don't know what they are seeing, but I'm fucking mess. There are moments where I really dislike my kids. I dislike everyone around me. But, most of all, I dislike myself for feeling that way. There are moments where if I could get in my van or get a bus ticket, I would love to just leave. The fact that an ex sister in law basically did just that, is not lost on me. There are moments where I would like to have a cousin or best friend around whom I could just go away for a night with and hang out. Hell, if I could leave for a week and go have fun with family I haven't seen in years, without the kids, I'd go in a heartbeat. Of course, after I calm down and everything, I feel guilty. Guilty that I would even think about leaving my kids, let alone actually putting my shoes on in contemplation. 

So, basically, right now, I'm hating life. Period. No one can talk me out of it, no one can talk me happy, I don't particularly even want to talk to anyone about it.

What can I say?

I don't blog nearly enough. It's definitely not because I don't have anything to say. I have tons to say. Or rather so much stuff I can bitch and moan about on a daily basis that I think I might really bore anyone who does find this blog, to tears. 

I have been reading blogs by some friends and aquaintances, as well as perfect strangers, and well, I feel inadequate. Most of these blogs talk about useful things like organization and daily living helps, and are upbeat and positive. And well, I don't feel that way most of the time. I dislike my house. A lot. I would like to be more organized and less scattered and have a neat and tidy house. Ha. That is so not me. If it was, I wouldn't be on here, lol. Ever. Honestly, the things that I have for organization, don't fix my problem. I have 100lbs of crap that I'm trying to stuff in a 10lbs drawer. Get rid of stuff, you say? Yea, I would, but it's my stuff, that I use. Not all of the time, but some of the time. My crocheting yarn, my sewing machine, my scrap booking stuff, my wood and paints. All my artsy craftsy stuff. The kids school books, reading books, papers, notebooks, etc. Every closet, ever shelf, every surface has something on it. I go through different parts on a daily basis trying to sort and stack neater, get rid of what I absolutely don't need, throw trash, etc, but it's still way over whelming. I don't know what I need to do to fix it, but it drives the husband nuts, and I can't say that I like it. We don't really have people over because it's too hard, we shove everything into random corners and hope for the best. Okay, honestly, even if the house was immaculate, we wouldn't have people over either, we just aren't that sociable. We aren't people people, we suck.

And because I am not organized, my kids are not organized. I feel like I am teaching them nothing about living and life that they are going to need later on. Organization is a huge thing. Being able to keep things clean is important. Believe me, cleaning my room when I was a kid, was not high on my list of priorities, I was always a pack rat. I guess things just don't change that much. So, I feel like if I never got over it, my house looks about as bad as my room when I was a kid, are my kids doomed to be the same way when they are adults? I don't know. 

Anyway, enough of the doom and gloom. I gotta get the crew to bed. That takes at least an hour of bitching and fussing.

I came across this today, and it fits.

I get told sometimes that by home schooling I'm doing a disservice to my kids. They aren't getting enough socialization and what not. i came across this conversation this morning on one of the home school chat groups I belong to and thought it appropriate to share here. 


Two women meet at a playground, where their children are swinging and playing ball. The women are sitting on a bench watching. Eventually, they begin to talk.

W1: Hi. My name is Maggie. My kids are the three in red shirts -- helps me keep track of them.
W2: (Smiles) I'm Terri. Mine are in the pink and yellow shirts. Do you come here a lot?
W1: Usually two or three times a week, after we go to the library.
W2: Wow. Where do you find the time?
W1: We home school, so we do it during the day most of the time.
W2: Some of my neighbors homeschool, but I send my kids to public school.
W1: How do you do it?
W2: It's not easy. I go to all the PTO meetings and work with the kids every day after school and stay real involved.
W1: But what about socialization? Aren't you worried about them being cooped up all day with kids their own ages, never getting the opportunity for natural relationships?
W2: Well, yes. But I work hard to balance that. They have some friends who are homeschooled, and we visit their grandparents almost every month.
W1: Sounds like you're a very dedicated mom. But don't you worry about all the opportunities they're missing out on? I mean they're so isolated from real life -- how will they know what the world is like -- what people do to make a living -- how to get along with all different kinds of people?
W2: Oh, we discussed that at PTO, and we started a fund to bring real people into the classrooms. Last month, we had a policeman and a doctor come in to talk to every class. And next month, we're having a woman from Japan and a man from Kenya come to speak.
W1: Oh, we met a man from Japan in the grocery store the other week, and he got to talking about his childhood in Tokyo. My kids were absolutely fascinated. We invited him to dinner and got to meet his wife and their three children.
W2: That's nice. Hmm. Maybe we should plan some Japanese food for the lunchroom on Multicultural Day.
W1: Maybe your Japanese guest could eat with the children.
W2: Oh, no. She's on a very tight schedule. She has two other schools to visit that day. It's a system-wide thing we're doing.
W1: Oh, I'm sorry. Well, maybe you'll meet someone interesting in the grocery store sometime and you'll end up having them over for dinner.
W2: I don't think so. I never talk to people in the store -- certainly not people who might not even speak my language. What if that Japanese man hadn't spoken English?
W1: To tell you the truth, I never had time to think about it. Before I even saw him, my six-year-old had asked him what he was going to do with all the oranges he was buying.
W2: Your child talks to strangers?
W1: I was right there with him. He knows that as long as he's with me, he can talk to anyone he wishes.
W2: But you're developing dangerous habits in him. My children never talk to strangers.
W1: Not even when they're with you?
W2: They're never with me, except at home after school. So you see why it's so important for them to understand that talking to strangers is a big no-no.
W1: Yes, I do. But if they were with you, they could get to meet interesting people and still be safe. They'd get a taste of the real world, in
real settings. They'd also get a real feel for how to tell when a situation is dangerous or suspicious.
W2: They'll get that in the third and fifth grades in their health courses.
W1: Well, I can tell you're a very caring mom. Let me give you my number--if you ever want to talk, give me call. It was good to meet you.


We have yet to bring home a total stranger and family from the grocery store, but we have had a friend of a friend from Pakistan join us and share a little about her Country with us, and that was interesting. Maybe one day we will meet more interesting people like that.

Considering moving my Blog

I blogged on MySpace for a couple of years and while the format was okay, it wasn't "great", if you know what I mean. I didn't have a lot of the features I wanted and I do like the way this is all on one page. You can see a little bit about me, but the main juice, the blog, is right there on the page as well, no clicking to find it, read it, go back to the profile, etc. I like Twitter for the simple fact that you can tweet little stuff about what you are doing on a constant basis, but I haven't totally mastered it and how you talk to other Tweeters, yet. I love Facebook, I really dislike the newest layout, but hopefully we'll be able to go back to the original if enough people complain about it? One can hope. And I've connected with so many lost friends, family and what not. But I can't blog on it. I can use notes, but it's again with the flipping back and forth between pages and whatnot. And while I blog mainly for me, so that I can get my thoughts out there and maybe try to make sense of things, when I get on my soapbox, it's nice to be heard, even if no one agrees with what I say, lol. So, I don't get here enough to actually blog, though. My conundrum continues. I guess eventually I'll figure out what I want to do.


The husband had to go and buy uniforms over the weekend. He's been getting pieces here and there where he's needed too over the last many years since he came back in, but it's gotten to the point where he's old enough now that his body just does not allow him to be a stick figure anymore. So it was time to make the investment. It definitely hurt, but probably not as much as it could have. He got full blues, full alpha's, and full evening dress and it was all a little under a grand. Of course that doesn't count medal mounting, but there are several places around here that do it on the off season (when it's more than 6 months before the next Ball), for decent prices. At least this way, he is totally prepared for anything that comes up and doesn't have to scramble to get what he needs, and he's got lots of stuff going on this year. 


As for everyone else, well, home school is well, it's going. Sometimes I wonder if I'm cut out for it or not, it tests my patience like nothing else, but I know the kids are better off in the long run. It's me I have to work on.


My goal of reading two books a month isn't quite going as I had planned. I'm finding the books harder to get through than I had anticipated. And it makes a difference when you don't have anyone to talk over the ideas that you are reading with. I'm used to doing that in a classroom or even a chat room, especially some of the material I'm ready, it's not just your regular run of the mill novels and what not. Oh well, if I can get one done a month, I'm going to try to be happy with that, until I figure something else out. I'm also not spending enough time doing my crocheting and getting items ready for my new store I want to open this summer. I am however, finally getting some things listed on Ebay, and if the first few auctions go well, I will continue to list until things stop selling. Maybe I can clear out some of this stuff. I can only donate and throw away so much, it makes sense to sell some things if I can, especially with young, growing children.


Anyway, I guess that's it for now...

Learning

This year is all about learning for me. I received my first set of books from Barnes and Noble and have dug in. I'm pretty much through the Vaccine Book by Dr. Robert W. Sears. I feel that the stance and actions that I have currently been on are good for Brenna and I feel comfortable with the way we are working her vaccine schedule. And if her pediatrician and the Pediatrics Dept at the Naval Hospital continue to try to intimidate me, I may just have to request through Tricare to be referred a PCM out in town. 

I have read the forward and 1st chapter in Saul Alinsky's Rules for Radicals. It's very interesting so far. I'm curious to see where he goes in the next chapters. So far it hasn't totally explained where these leftist people are coming from at this point because so far it he has said that some of the things they are doing are no-no's if they want to accomplish their mission, which is actually a good thing for the Country in the long run, because we've figured out what they are up to and most regular people are fed up with it all. So, in the end it may not be the Revolution he was looking for that may come about. Like I said, I'm looking to see where the book goes in the coming chapters. And I can't wait to start the other books, there are so many books I want to read/listen to this year. I'm hoping to finish  at least two books a month. I guess we'll see how things go.

I got my iphone, I'm really having a good time with it. I haven't figured out everything yet, and I'm not sure if it does everything I want it to, but for the most part it is everything I was expecting. I like being to use Facebook and some of the other apps, I'm looking forward to exploring a lot of the other applications as well. 

And we are using Netflix to watch movies on the computers and the TV upstairs. They are supposed to be introducing Netflix for the Wii in the next few months and we are excited for that because then we can use it and watch movies on the main TV downstairs. 

Tomorrow is a holiday because we are observing Martin Luther King, Jr's birthday, and while we are not doing anything special to observe, we are thinking about going to Palm Springs for the day since the hubby is off and Meg doesn't have to do school. I guess we'll see how things go.

Being a Mom

Really, I think the title of this particular blog says it all. If I were to end it here and post it, I think there are many many moms out there who would get it, and agree. But I can't just leave it at that but the more I delve into it, you may or may not find yourself relating. I find that maybe I have some really odd ideas about motherhood. I love my kids, but they didn't come with instructions or an on/off switch (and oh, how convenient that would be sometimes). And even worse, when they are tiny it's all trial and error on what might be wrong because they can't even tell you, other than crying, and maybe I'm just not that smart, but I can't always tell what each and every cry might mean. And oh the whining. And when they hurt, you hurt with them, there have even been a few times where I cried with them. I believe I have been blessed, because for the most part, my kids aren't difficult, a few of them have been more needy than the others, but really, they've all been fairly easy going compared to what I've seen some mother's go through. 

It is rare that I go anywhere without my kids, if not all of them, at least one or two. But there are occasions when I do get out on my own, and sometimes, just those 15 minutes, or one, two hours, are an absolute relief, and then I feel selfish. This is one of the big reasons I don't go many places without them. It's not that I can't find anyone I trust to watch them, because there are several people I feel plenty comfortable leaving them with, and when we visit family, I trust them with the kids, but it feels selfish to go out and leave them with other people. They are my kids, their welfare is my responsibility all of the time. This is why the husband and I don't get out much. You wouldn't think once a week, or even once a month, or once every two months would be such a big deal for us to go do something. Well, other than the fact there isn't much to do around here that either of us are really interested in, I just can't shake that guilty feeling that I'm being selfish by dumping my kids off on someone else. So, even if I do get out, as much of a relief as it is sometimes, I have this sense of urgency that I need to get back right away. Whether this is a valid response or not, who knows. But, I look at other couples, parents, who are going out several times a month/week, and I can't help but wonder if they don't feel they are being as selfish as I feel they are. Maybe I'm a little jealous. Who knows. Maybe it's a combination of these. 

New Books!

I just placed an order for books from Barnes and Noble, yay! The last couple of times I've bought books they've all been for the kids. I love books and I don't take nearly enough time to read for myself as I should. I know this would be different if I was taking classes or something, but it's just not an option right now. Right now my focus is my family and teaching and raising them. Later, I would definitely like to go back to school, and I think it will be much better, it will be challenging, but I think I will get much more out of it than when I was younger. 


So, I have decided that until I can go back to school, I will read and learn and do on my own. I have a list of books I would like to read this year, and I'm sure the list will grow as the year goes on, but I've begun to fulfill that list by ordering some books, yay! I am hoping that I can also get some of the books that I am wanting in MP3 format as well, because sometimes I do enjoy listening as well, and it will be much easier to listen to my Ipod (or Iphone when I finally get it!) and tick off some of those books.


Well, I have a picture of dinner from last night.

It is Pork Loin, baby carrots and mashed potatoes with gravy. 

Prep time: 20 minutes

Cook time: 5 to 6 hours

To make the rub for the pork I combined equal amounts of: Sea Salt, Peppercorn, Onion Flakes, Garlic Salt, Cajun Seasoning. Rub evenly on pork loin, paying particular attention to the meaty sections. Use two or three dashes of liquid smoke patted on the loin. Sear all sides meat to lock in the rub. Place seared loin into a baking pan or slow cooker with baby carrots and enough water to cover the carrots. If placing in the oven, cover pork with a sheet of foil. Oven temp should be 285 degrees. Slow cooker on high if you are doing the 5 to 6 hour method, low for 8-10 hours. I used mashed potatoes out of the box and gravy from a packet, which took me about 15 minutes just before serving.

I'm all for making dinners fast and easy being as busy as I am with the kids. So, any short cuts I can take, I do. Making mashed potatoes the long way with actual potatoes is wonderful and tasty if you have the time. Luckily, my family is happy either way. Using some of the pork juices and a teaspoon or two of flour to make gravy would not have taken a long time, but putting a couple of packets together with some water worked just as well. 

Anyway, I will share my meals with you this year as well, at least the ones that may interest you. 

That's all I got for today.

Happy New Year!!

All right, it's 2010. I'm trying to get back into the blogging mode this year. I took quite a break last year, but I'm ready to give the world my opinion, right or wrong, nice or not so nice, once again. There will be a heavy dose of what is going on in our lives here at home at the time, as well as recipes and meal ideas. I cook mainly out of necessity, sometimes I love it, sometimes I don't, but it's what's best for my family, and as easy and pain free as it is to eat out on a regular basis, it's expensive and not what we need to be doing. 


I've been debating on getting an Iphone, and I'm pretty much set now that it is definitely the phone I want, I've side by side compared the Iphone, Blackjack, Solstice, Blackberry, and HTC, the Iphone has everything I want. Now it's just to research how much it's going to actually add to my service because if it's too much, I'll just have to stick with what I've got.


There is so much going on in the world today, and I can tell you that I can only take about 30 minutes of news at a time because by the time it's done, I just want to hurt somebody, how can we be so stupid to have put so many of the wrong people in such positions of power and the ones that are riding along the coat-tails that we seem to have no say over. It's just like some of these celebraties (yes I spelled it wrong on purpose) out there, they have people who jump on their coat tails and try to ride their way to fame and a lot of them are unscrupulous bastards with no morals, and none of them, politicians, famous people, etc. none of them live in the real world. They live in some fantasy world and they want to take us all there, well, no thanks. Being rich would be nice, but sometimes money isn't all it's cracked up to be. Of course that's said by someone who doesn't have a lot of it. But then again, neither did Jesus. 


"And Jesus said to his disciples, 'Truly, I say to you, it will be had for rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.' When the disciples heard this they were greatly astonished saying, 'Who then can be saved?' But Jesus looked at them and said to them, 'With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'  Then Peter said in reply, 'Lo, we have left everything and followed you, What then shall we have?' Jesus said to them, 'Truly, I say to you, in the new world, when the Son of man shall sit on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones,judging the twelve trives of Israel. And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or fathers or mothers or children or lands, for my name's sake, will receive a hundred-fold, and inherit eternal life. But many that are first will be last, and the last first.'


-Matthew 19: 23-30