Great stuff...

Some days I really just want to pull my hair out. Of course, then I would be bald, and it's hard to imagine me bald. Scary really. Anyway, this is one of those days. For the most part things went really well, and then in a span of about an hour, it all just went to crap.

Anyway, I did have a good morning. As many parents with light colored carpet know, red Kool-aid, kids, and carpet don't mix well. I have this yucky beige colored carpet throughout my house, I just don't like beige that well, although it's better than white, it still sucks. But, it's what I've got, at least for a few years.  Well, after only a year in the house, I have a myriad of red spots decorating said beige carpet throughout the living room. And nothing I tried would take it out, I thought it was destined just to have red spots. Had a professional come and clean it, said they were permanent and nothing would take it out. I gave up. Then a week or so ago I had an idea. Google. I don't know why it took me so long to do that, I mean, I google everything else, I'm on the computer most of the day for school, it just never crossed my mind. There are bunches of sites that come up and they all seemed to say similar things:
1. Dawn
2. Water
3. White cloths
4. Iron

It works!! Oh my gosh, it works. The first few spots I didn't have the iron nearly hot enough and it didn't work as good as it did once I got a nice hot cotton setting. And I got the stain wet with the soapy solution instead of just having the white cloths wet. So, you get a bowl of warm water, put 10 drops of dawn in it. Wet your cloth and the spot you want to work on, spread the cloth over the spot, and put the iron on top. Leave it 3-4 minutes, and then check, the red transfer's to the cloth!!! Do this repeatedly until most if not all of the stain is gone. They say you can then use spot shot and things, but I didn't have that, I just scrubbed a little more. I still have several spots to work on as this process took a while to perfect, but I'm so stoked that at least they aren't bright red spots anymore! If you are going to try something similar, I highly recommend trying it in an inconspicuous area to make sure you don't burn a spot in your carpet or something silly. I am by no means a professional, but it worked for me.

We had a new dinner courtesy of Pinterest tonight. Pepperoni roll-ups. They were inhaled before I could snap a picture, so you'll have to just imagine it.
1 can of refrigerator crescent rolls
Pepperoni (about 4 per roll)
2 string cheese sticks cut into 4 pieces each.
marinara, spaghetti, or pizza sauce for dipping

Place pepperoni's and cheese in each crescent roll before rolling up. Bake according to package directions. Warm sauce in separate bowl. Voila. Watch them disappear in minutes!

School is done for the semester, yay!! I can concentrate on Christmas stuff now. This semester was very trying and I know the hard stuff is still yet to come. I remember why I quit when I was young though. Of course it doesn't get easier, either. I'm not looking forward to next semester, but I'm going to try really hard not to think about it for a week or so.

'Til next time.

Oh Pinterest, how I love thee.......

.....let me count the ways....I'm not addicted to it as some, at least not yet anyway, however I have found TONS literally, tons of stuff that I want to try out. My first endeavor was homemade hand soap. Someone actually posted a link on Facebook and that's where I found the original recipe, but there are lots and lots of recipes on Pinterest. They are all basically the same with slight variations here or there. My first attempt was so-so in the success category. I definitely had liquid hand soap, but it was more in the consistency of snot. Nonetheless, it worked! And it made one whole gallon, which lasted me almost two months! With three bathrooms and a kitchen, 4 children and 2 adults, and as much as we wash our hands, that's pretty darn good. So, for $4.19 (the price of the bar of soap) we got about 7-8 weeks of soap. For the next batch, I decided the recipe definitely had to have the glycerin, so I ordered 16 oz for $4.35 from my most favorite essential oil supplier. And because I still have plenty of essential oils on hand (a small bottle lasts a long time) I didn't have to order any this time, but if you want a little scent in your soap (if it doesn't have any already), essential oils are safe for most sensitive skin, if blended in a carrier (soap included), they don't recommend rubbing the oils directly on the skin, they are too strong.


I won't go into what scents work best for what, that is an entirely different post and gets into aromatherapy, which is not my strong suit, I just know what scents I like. But some basics: tea tree is good for cleaning, as is eucalyptus (my personal favorite), lavender is relaxing (another favorite) while mint and peppermint are refreshing. The website I listed above has some awesome combination oils as well as individual, some are more expensive than others, it all varies with the market value.


The second batch worked out much better, although it's still a little bit stringy, I think that one more adjustment to the recipe and it will be as close to perfect as it gets without lots of added chemicals. And a gallon of soap, even in the refill bottles for about $4.30 is practically unheard of, even at Wal-Mart. In fact, if the next batch works as good as I hope, it will also be great shower quality soap, we all know how expensive that stuff is, at least the good stuff.


So, what do you need to do if you want to make good hand soap:


A pot that will hold a gallon of water without overflowing
Empty pump-type soap containers
Cheese grater
Container to hold the extra soap (1 use an empty 1 gallon ice cream pail)
Funnel
Large plastic spoon or ladel for stirring
handmixer or blender


1bar of soap: Castille soap (I like Dr. Bronner's and Target carries it in store and Amazon has it in bulk online), Yardley's, Mrs. Meyer's, Kiss My Face or any natural soap is great, but really you can use anything except Dove.
1-2 tbsp of glycerin (best deal is on the wholesale site, but you can get it at the pharmacy area of your grocery or drug store, they may have it behind the counter if it's not on the shelf)
1gallon of water


Grate bar of soap, warm your water on the stove, just before it boils mix soap, glycerin, and any essential oils you might want to use together until soap is melted. Once all combined it will look milky/hazy. Let sit 8-12 hours or overnight. Soap will thicken. If it becomes too thick to spoon, take your hand mixer and blend until you get a smoother consistence. Using your funnel ladel/spoon your soap into the pumps and pour the rest into your extra container, and there you have it! Lots of soap for a little $$.


I've also been trying lots of new recipes for family meals like the crockpot breakfast I posted last Sunday morning, and Crockpot potato soup in the crockpot on Monday. I have many many more to try, yay.


I've even added a bunch of crochet projects to my Store. I have a bunch more I want to offer, some really cute patterns I have to try out, but most of those will probably be worked on after Christmas as I have so many things I'm working on to get done by Christmas. Thankfully school for me will be done next week and I will only be schooling the kids half time through Christmas break, we aren't taking it completely off because there really is no good reason to not be doing something for most of those days, but they will be off when their dad is home for his 96's and that will be good. We are looking forward to those days together.


That's it for now, back to the research paper I go....

So I've been busy lately......

I think that should pretty much be the title of every blog post that I eventually get around to, lol. I have been very busy. I don't keep up with blogging the things I'm busy with as much as I would like to, either. But, on the other hand, I do facebook an awful lot, and yes, I just used Facebook as a verb, lol. Whether that is proper or not, I'm not too concerned. So, anyway, I should be working on putting together my Power Point that is due today or finishing the reading on the Chapter that I am taking a test on as well today, but alas, I promised this recipe to many of my friends and family. I'm going to be trying a bunch of new recipes the next couple of weeks and most of them utilize the crock-pot. I love my crock-pot, especially in the winter time, I should really use it more year round, because it's so easy to just put a bunch of stuff in it and let it get yummy all by itself. I'm all about fast and easy, while I am neither. ;0)

So, the breakfast recipe I found here. You need at the very least a 5 qt. crock pot for this recipe, but you could half it if yours is smaller. The recipe as written yeilds enough to feed at least 8 grown men who eat a lot, lol, maybe even 10. We have enough left over to feed us all for another breakfast. I made some tweaks just because that is what I do, lol. So basically my recipe was as follows:

2lbs. frozen hashbrowns

1/2 an onion, peeled and chopped (it says a whole onion, but we are not really onion people)

1tsp. minced garlic

1 small green pepper seeded and chopped

12 stripes of bacon

8 link sausage

2cups shredded cheese (I used a colby/cheddar blend, and 1/2 cup more because we are cheese people)

12 eggs (it seems like a lot, but it's not)

1cup whole milk (I used 1% and it was just fine)

1tsp dried dill (I wasn't sure about this, but did it anyway, and yes, it was yummy!)

1/2 tsp. salt (I use ground sea salt)

1/2 tsp. pepper (I use coarse ground black pepper)

I cut my bacon into one inch strips before cooking it just seemed easier than frying it, cooling it and THEN cutting it, and then I cut my sausage links into thirds (still frozen, be careful if you do this use the sharpest knife in your supply and watch your fingers so the sausage doesn't roll out from under the knife and you end up with finger in your breakfast. I saute'd all the meats first and then added the veggies and minced garlic when the meat was about 1/2 way cooked. Remove from heat. Drain juices, if any are left, if you use turkey bacon or sausage there won't be much, if any remaining fat. 

Spray your crock with PAM or other non stick spray. I don't recommend using the crock pot bags for this recipe, I'm not sure they would work very well, but someone might want to try it, I know it makes clean up of the crock pot easier. 

In separate bowl beat eggs, milk, dill, salt, and pepper until combined. 

Layer 1/3 of the hashbrowns in the bottom of the crock pot, then 1/3 of the meat on top of that, then 1/3 of the cheese, continue for two more layers, ending with a layer of cheese. Pour egg mixture over the top. I went back and forth instead of pouring it all in the middle to promote even cooking. Cover and cook on low overnight for 8-10 hours. Verify done-ness by sticking a thermometer in the middle of the casserole, it should reach at least 160 degrees F. Mine was about 175. Enjoy!

I will definitely share other recipes as I try them, and after finals are all done on the 15th I hope to have a bunch of crafty things to share as well... If you don't have Pintrest, I highly recommend it as I have found tons of good ideas and recipes there. If you need an invite let me know here or on Facebook and I will gladly send you one!

Til next time!

As valid today as it was then...

By the President of the United States of America
A Proclamation Whereas the Senate of the United States, devoutly recognizing the supreme authority and just government of Almighty God in all the affairs of men and of nations, has by a resolution requested the President to designate and set apart a day for national prayer and humiliation; and
Whereas it is the duty of nations as well as of men to own their dependence upon the overruling power of God, to confess their sins and transgressions in humble sorrow, yet with assured hope that genuine repentance will lead to mercy and pardon, and to recognize the sublime truth, announced in the Holy Scriptures and proven by all history, that those nations only are blessed whose God is the Lord;
And, insomuch as we know that by His divine law nations, like individuals, are subjected to punishments and chastisements in this world, may we not justly fear that the awful calamity of civil war which now desolates the land may be but a punishment inflicted upon us for our presumptuous sins, to the needful end of our national reformation as a whole people? We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of Heaven; we have been preserved these many years in peace and prosperity; we have grown in numbers, wealth, and power as no other nation has ever grown. But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us, and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us.
It behooves us, then, to humble ourselves before the offended Power, to confess our national sins, and to pray for clemency and forgiveness.
Now, therefore, in compliance with the request, and fully concurring in the views of the Senate, I do by this my proclamation designate and set apart Thursday, the 30th day of April, 1863, as a day of national humiliation, fasting, and prayer. And I do hereby request all the people to abstain on that day from their ordinary secular pursuits, and to unite at their several places of public worship and their respective homes in keeping the day holy to the Lord and devoted to the humble discharge of the religious duties proper to that solemn occasion.
All this being done in sincerity and truth, let us then rest humbly in the hope authorized by the divine teachings that the united cry of the nation will be heard on high and answered with blessings no less than the pardon of our national sins and the restoration of our now divided and suffering country to its former happy condition of unity and peace. In witness whereof I have hereunto set my hand and caused the seal of the United States to be affixed.
Done at the city of Washington, this 30th day of March, A. D. 1863, and of the Independence of the United States the eighty-seventh.
ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
By the President:
WILLIAM H. SEWARD, Secretary of State .

Read more at the American Presidency Project: Abraham Lincoln: Proclamation 97 - Appointing a Day of National Humiliation, Fasting, and Prayer http://www.presidency.ucsb.edu/ws/index.php?pid=69891#ixzz1aQrrk4Lf

I find it funny...

...when I look through Facebook at the friends list's of my friends looking for other people I know, and when I find someone, I think, "Oh my gosh, I remember when so and so did this....." and then I wonder if they would even remember me because we weren't best friends or anything, but we hung out with the same people and were kind of friends by association. I have a lot of those through the years, friends by association. Some of those became good friends and some just kind of faded off in the distance. I do wonder about them sometimes, but not enough to pick up the phone or add them to my friend's list. Sometimes, like I said, I'm not sure if they would even remember who the heck I am or if they would even want to. It's been really important for me to find as many family members as I can on Facebook, because I live so far away from the majority of them, and didn't grow up with them (well, not since I was 12 anyway), I just want to know how they all are. Some of them I send Christmas cards to, and I make half-hearted attempts at keeping in touch, but I'm not good at it. And for different reasons, there are strains on some familial ties, as much as I try to ignore them, I always wonder if I'm being ignored because of them, or because we never actually physically go see anyone. Traveling is hard and expensive, especially with four children, there is nothing I would like to do more than to take a trip to Minnesota and spend a couple of weeks there. My living grandparents aren't getting any younger, none of the family is. It feels like we need a good old fashioned family reunion. But, whenever we do get the chance to travel, we usually can't go that far, or it's to visit the hubby's family because we don't get to see them much either, and we have lived in the same time zone as my parents for several years now, so I always feel guilty even suggesting we go see my extended family. So, each year it gets put off. And now with me in school full time and him getting ready to start, it doesn't seem like it will get any easier. 

But, enough with my complaining. Until next time...

School

It's back to school time for all those kiddies in public school again. It's a little anti climactic for our household. Since we are home-schooling year round now, there really isn't a solid beginning or end. Of course I think it is much better this way, the kids really seem to enjoy learning and we can take trips whenever we want. But, I do like the deals when I can take advantage of them. Having new school supplies is fun, and since I'm in school now too, I get to actually use some things. Clothes, I have to be careful, there really isn't a huge reason to buy clothes, it's too hot still for them to wear the fall clothes and there is no point buying new summer clothes since it will only be "hot" for a few more months. So, I like to wait until after the back to school ruckus when the fall clothes start going on sale before I actually buy their cool weather clothes. Usually I can come up with some coupons from Old Navy or Children's Place and get more for less.

The one thing I do look forward to, is new books and curriculum for the kiddo's and now me. I get email from used curriculum groups all year long, and I pick up what I know I'm going to need for the next level whenever I find a good deal, but the majority of good deals come when new school year gets ready to start because so many people are ready to part with their things. Now, I would sell some of my curriculum, but alas, since I have two more to start school in the next few years, it makes no sense. I really can't part with anything until BooBoo gets some use out of it. I have come to realize though, that that is A LOT of books. I really need some kind of organizational units/shelving for all of my curriculum. I would really like the husband to make me something, but he has another project that he wants to work on, so I really don't have much to work with now, and won't for the foreseeable future. But, on the upside, I have finally gotten a system for keeping portfolio's for the kiddos and I have a computer program that I can enter all of their information and make report cards and all that other fun bookkeeping stuff that I haven't been able to do up until now. So, I'm at least going to go back to last fall to create the records, and that should be good since the oldest is just entering 6th grade this year.

I made it through my first summer semester of courses, and unbeknownst to me I took a course overload at 12 credits. Had I realized this was a course overload and how stressed out I would be for a few weeks, I may not have done it the way I did. But, I did. And I got 12 credits out of the way, so with my transfer credits I now have 24 of the 60 I need for my AA. I'm taking 14 more credits this fall. I have to pay for 1 class, which is 2 of those credits, but it will be less I should have to take in the summer then, if I stay on schedule. I don't know why they say that an AA is a 2 year degree and 12 credits is considered full time, because most AA's need 60 credits, and that doesn't break down into 4 semesters......But, hopefully I'm on the right track now and will graduate before the money runs out. Then I get to figure out how to pay for the BA, etc. I wish I could just stop there, but to do what I want to do, it's going to take more than that. Hopefully I will feel smarter by that time.....

31.....

I am reposting this from my Facebook notes since I haven't posted on my blog in a while.
_________________________

I've been watching for the last two days as my wall is filled with those mourning the loss of 31 American (I realize there were Afghani policemen on board as well, but for this post I am dealing with the number 31) military members from a terrible tragedy. And I've said my prayers for the family who are in the process of being notified of some of the worst news that can every come to a military family, and I thank God for my friends spouse's who are safe and sound and I prayed extra hard for those still there fighting. But the more posts I see, the more upset I start to get. While for most people, Afghanistan is a passing thought if they happen to hear about it on the news, for some people, it's never far from their conscious thoughts. And it's sad. It's so sad that it takes the deaths of an entire SEAL team and helicopter crew to make people wake up again. What about all the other men who died last week during combat operations?

 Sgt. William B. GrossPaniagua, 28, of Daly City, Calif., died July 31 in Kunar province, Afghanistan
 Pfc. Brice M. Scott, 22, of Columbus, Ga., died July 31 in Kandahar province, Afghanistan
Staff Sgt. Leon H. Lucas Jr., 32, of Wilson, N.C., died Aug. 1 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan
 Staff Sgt. Patrick R. Dolphin, 29, of Moscow, Pa., Sgt. Dennis E. Kancler, 26, of Brecksville, Ohio, and Sgt. Christopher M. Wrinkle, 29, of Dallastown, Pa., died July 31 while supporting combat operations in Herat province, Afghanistan
Staff Sgt. Kirk A. Owen, 37, of Sapulpa, Okla., died Aug. 2 in Paktia province, Afghanistan,
Spc. Barun Rai, 24, of Silver Spring, Md., died Aug. 3 in Logar province, Afghanistan
Pfc. Cody G. Baker, 19, of Holton, Kan.
Pfc. Gil I. Morales Del Valle, 21, of Jacksonville, Fla
Capt. Waid C. Ramsey, 41, of Red Bay, Ala., died Aug. 4 in Paktika province, Afghanistan
Sgt. Anthony Del Mar Peterson, 24, of Chelsea, Okla., died Aug. 4 in Paktia province, Afghanistan
Sgt. Daniel D. Gurr, 21, of Vernal, Utah, died Aug. 5 while conducting combat operations in Helmand province, Afghanistan
Spc. Jinsu Lee, 34, of Chatsworth, Calif. died Aug. 5, in Kunar province, Afghanistan
Spc. Mark J. Downer, 23, of Warner Robins, Ga. died Aug. 5, in Kandahar province, Afghanistan

And all that went before them? 31 men at one time is a tragedy, but it's no more and no less than the other men and women who died doing their sworn duty for this Country. And what about the military left behind? The ones who have made serving their Country their career and are in the process of getting screwed out of their retirements by a government who doesn't give a rat's ass about them?! The same government who would rather keep the welfare vote than do right by those who put their lives on the line day after day?!? I haven't seen one post. Or how about the ones who are coming back after seeing their entire team blown away and trying to get help but are being told it's all in their head or they are disingenuous and just trying to bilk the government for all they can get? What about those guys who are told those things and they spiral further and further into their PTSD and depression and everyone ignores it until the guy finally puts a bullet in his head over the 4th of July weekend to stop the pain... We think if we ignore these things they aren't really happening and it will just go away?? Well, I'm sorry, but these things are happening, they are happening all around you. And you can only ignore it for so long. I don't care whether you agree with the war, don't think we should be over there, don't think we need a professional military, whatever. Care about it, and not just when a horrible tragedy occurs and we lose 31 people at once.

People think if we didn't have an all volunteer military, which includes about 13% of those who make it a career and provide the knowledge and experience to lead the rest through whatever we may face, either we wouldn't have an enemies and other Countries would just leave us alone.... If our ancestors had thought that way we might well still belong to England, or be speaking Spanish, German, or Japanese (not by choice). Hell, we could still become part of Communist China, as they own most of our treasury and provide most of the stuff we buy because it's too expensive to make it here...well, won't that be a thrill..... instead of being one of the greatest free nations in the world we can just fade a way as a forgotten memory circa 1984....but I digress....

I mourn the loss of those 31 men from that helicopter crash yesterday morning, the same way I mourn every casualty notice I see from the DOD, may you never know that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach that some wife, mother, sister, father, brother, son, daughter is feeling when that knock comes to their door... the way I can only imagine it must come.

And those of us whose spouses will never be the same some physically, some mentally, some both, that bond can never be broken. Our job is to be there for each other.

God Bless all our hero's. Every single one.

Video Challenge Days 9 and 10

Well, I'm posting two videos tonight because yesterday just slipped away from me and I was just wanting to get the kids bathed and in bed last night and by the time I was out of the tub myself and finally relaxed enough, I just wanted to sleep by then, lol.

I picked up paint for the little girls' room. I'm so excited to get started in there but I have a few other things I have to get done before I go gung ho. My plan is to have at least that room finished before the husband gets home from Virginia. I'd like to have more than that done, but the downstairs bathroom not only needs paint we are putting all new fixtures in there as well and that is going to take probably hubby and dad to accomplish all that. We probably going to pain the kitchen, but I'm still not sure on that one. I don't know how many rooms we can paint without the house being too colorful? I want the bedrooms to all have their own personality and the bathrooms too. The hubby is planning on painting his bar (aka the front room) a different color, so I don't know how many other colors we can do. I really dislike that the whole house is beige though. I know it's neutral and it was probably to help sell it, but really, it sucks. It's as bad as the whole house having white walls. But I can remember making fun of a friend for having different colors in every single room in the house, and nothing really tied together, so I don't know that I want to go that road either. Having a house is stressful.

Anyway the video for Day 9:

The longer I live, the more I learn that some of the things I thought growing up, were the right thing. Although, experience and dealing with the situations is not always what I might have imagined. Life is never as simple as adults as it is when you are a kid.

Video for today:

I thank the friends that I can count on time and time again for being there for me. I love my friends!

Music Video Challenge Day 8/30

It may seem like I'm selecting lots of sad songs here, but really things just keep coming up that these songs are just so appropriate for. They are on my play list because they are life appropriate. There will be more fun ones coming, but the next few have more messages...

Makes me cry like a baby every single time without fail. It's so true. No matter what you face in life, it's only temporary. It may not seem like it in the moment, but hindsight...

Killian lost his first tooth last week. My boy is growing up. I don't know that I'm making him into a good man, he still has his anger issues but hardly ever has fits anymore, which I never thought we were going to get through. And he's starting to read. He's doing really well with our 100 lessons book and I expect he will progress pretty rapidly, which usually doesn't happen with boys I've been told, so I'm kind of excited! 

I finally made an appointment for my hair next week. I just can't stand it any longer. It's such a mop of blah. Maybe it will help that blah feeling. We are just over a month now before Casey should be heading back West. If you pray, please say one tomorrow that his test goes well. It's not the last one, but it's important. 

I'm also working on a plan for my health. I think I mentioned that all of my test, every single one, came back great. I'm in perfect health in all the places that are important. I realize there are other things that need to be worked on for my future health though, so I am doing that. Once I see where my plan is going I will probably share it here, but until then, I'm kinda keeping it under wraps. You're welcome to make wagers on how long before I spill, lol...

Music Video Challenge Day 7/30

Hope by listening you can see why this one is my favorites list!

Video Challenge Day 6/30

I think this song about says it all. As frustrating as things get sometimes, time just marches on and nothing ever stays the same. Enjoy every minute you possibly can, try not to get bogged down in the crap that really doesn't matter, and keep people around you that will help you snap out of it when you do.

Video Challenge Day 5/30

So many songs, so little time. 

My video of the day is:

This became my anthem a couple of years ago. I wasn't in a good place emotionally and didn't feel very strong. And while I still have those moments, I can usually reach down and pull out the strength I need to get through whatever it is I'm facing when I remember that I have three little girls (well, one is getting close to those teenage years, yikes!) that are watching me seeing how I react to things and behave in every situation I am faced with. And while I have plenty of faults, I want them to be proud if they end up being like their mom one day. I worry so much about them getting along in this world. I can only hope I'm doing all I need to do to help them get ready for the things they will face while at the same time I'm letting them hold on to their childhood and not grow up so much faster than what is necessary. I watch so many little girls who are little girls going on 25 and doing things, saying things, and dressing no where near their age. It breaks my heart. If you are 11 or 12 or 13, you should look and act 11, 12, and 13, whether you are at home, at school, or with friends. At the same time I want my girls to know what growing up is and what is happening to their minds and bodies. I would rather those conversations happened with me and with material I have provided than something they get from friends or at school or something. I know I don't really have to worry about school since we home school, but still.

Music Video Challenge Day 4/30

My day 4 video is not really a video but I couldn't find the actually video that wasn't a cover.

Day 4/30 Alibis by Tracy Lawrence

Tracy Lawrence was the very first live concert I ever went to without my parents. I was a junior in high school. Man that seems eons ago now. It led to a good couple of years of concert going, nothing crazy, mostly country, but I loved them all! Memories that I don't think about too often though, for sure.

Anyway, I made it home made fried rice tonight and potstickers. I thought it was great, first time I've ever tried to make it on my own and I used unconventional veggies. The little kids seemed to like it, but Meg hated it. She ended up warming up some left over spaghetti. She hates rice. I just really get tired of trying to make things that everyone likes, because I have a really narrow window of things then. None of the kids are starving and I know that, but sometimes the fight just isn't worth it. I can remember when I had to eat something I hated when I was a kid. The dry heaves sometimes, feeling like I was going to barf right there at the table. Holding my breath til I swallowed and sometimes swallowing without chewing. Hell, I've done that as an adult. And the puking all night after eating something new that didn't agree with you..... Maybe I'm doing the kids a disservice by not forcing them to eat things they don't like, but with all of the issues I have with food, I'm trying everything in my power to not pass that on to the kids. Food is what gives us energy, it's a necessity, but it doesn't have to be anything more than that. It's taken me a long time and it's still a struggle, probably will be all my life, but hopefully my kids will have that one part of life easier than I did.

Day 3/30 Music Video Challenge and other stuff

My video for Day 3 is The Warrior Song - Marine Corps version. I may not be a Marine, but I've loved and supported my husband for the last 14+ years, and agree with me or not, but as a military spouse you are as close as it gets without being in it. The Corps affects all parts of your life, your relationship, your family. So, when I need a little moto, this is my go-to song.

While in the midst of daily routine today my iPhone just quit. Just went dark couldn't charge it, couldn't reboot it, it was just done. I panicked. Like no shit, full on panicked. My heart started racing, I felt weak and sick to my stomach, shaky.... What the hell, it's just a phone you say?? More like my life. My biggest connection to the world, including my husband who's 2000+ miles away right now. I came out of the panic pretty quickly, but I still felt sick and in a hurry to get out the door. So I purposely took my time. I don't know how to explain it any better, yes I have computers, but we don't have a home phone, I don't want to pay for it, I'm basically on my own so if anything happens my only tie to the outside world is my phone. I feel safe going places when I have my phone, without my phone I feel naked and nervous. Some people carry weapons, I have a phone, which can be considered a weapon of sorts. Okay, so maybe I've gone off the deep end a little, I'll give ya that. So, long story much shorter, within a few hours I had a brand new phone in my excited and no longer stressed out hands. Good thing I had an upgrade coming!

Day 2/30 Music Video Challenge

 

The video I chose for day 2 of the Music Video Challenge is Perfect by Pink. I don't know why humans do this to each other. We kill each others self esteem and then think it doesn't matter. It starts from the time we are little. Our parents do the best they can and we grow from that and once our peers and the outside world become involved it all goes to crap. Trying to live up to everyone's version of perfect. Doing things at the right times, etc. etc. I read something someone wrote today about children and potty training and just got so irritated I had to shut my email off for a while. 

Psychiatrists and our emotional well being has only started to really be a big thing in the last 10-15 years or so. ADD/ADHD/Autism and other developmental issues, all the way down to how a child handles potty training when the household is under a great deal of stress and change. Do I think some of these issues are over diagnosed, mis diagnosed and/ or even over exaggerated, sure I do. It's bound to happen, there are unethical people out there for the almighty dollar and office visits, medications, etc = big money. But do I still think they are important to talk about, yes, I do. I wouldn't have decided to make it a career if I didn't think there was something to it. There is still so much we don't know about our brains and how exactly they work and handle not only our day to day issues, but the traumatic and unusual as well. The way people see us and talk about us, to us, it all affects us. The extent to which it affects us depends on many many factors. 

It starts when we are little, and continues throughout our lives. Mental health issues used to be an untalked about subject, taboo. Give them a pill and they will be fine. It's not so much anymore, but there are still huge stereotypes and stigma's to overcome.  

30 Day Music Video Challenge

One of my friends started a 30 music videos in 30 days Challenge today. I don't normally do these, but I love music and thought it might be fun to do this one. My first video choice is Escape Club, Wild Wild West. I remember when this song came out, I was in the sixth grade. I remember driving around with my parents listening to it on my am/fm cassette walkman....yea that may date me, lol, but that's okay. I can even remember going to the dances at North Branch Middle School where we kicked off our shoes and danced on the wood floors in the gym to this and many others. I'm going to date myself a lot with this challenge, I think. I love such a wide variety of music, I think that is rubbing off on my kiddos. I don't know if they will be as into music as I was, but even if they just have a love for a good song/arrangement, that is good too. 

30 music videos in 30 days Challenge - Day 1

Escape Club, Wild Wild West

Well, I have work to do. School with the kids and house stuff. I get so tired of the house stuff. No matter where you live it never ends. The messes come day after day after day. The husbands solution would be to get rid of everything in the house except for the furniture. I just refuse. So, instead I have to suck it up and deal with the constant mess battle. A lot of times it isn't even toys it's just trash. I don't know why, it's so hard to get things in the trash can the first time, no matter how many times I say it. I wish I had more storage. I have quite a lot now, but I could use just a couple more closets. I have no good place for school. Part of the reason I wanted a house all on one floor was so I could have a place for our classroom close to wear I need to be most of the day, near the kitchen and living areas. But because that really wasn't an option here in Vegas, one story houses were either in terrible areas, too small, or too expensive. Most of the affordable housing here is multi level, well, that is what we have. And now I have to make it work. But I don't want to be upstairs all day, or really even some of the day. The kids play area is in the large loft and the workout area is in the small loft, I don't want their classroom in the play area, too confusing and really there isn't a way to keep it all separate and the little ones would have stuff lost and missing all the time. And if I put some desks and stuff up there, then there would be no room for the chairs and their playhouses and stuff. And honestly, the kitchen table isn't ideal either. I was so looking forward to having a designated place for schooling when we got a house, but now it still isn't that way. We've only been here for six months, but still. On top of that, I still have boxes of stuff I don't want to unpack because we don't have the walls painted or the floors exactly the way I want them. I know all of this takes time, but it gets frustrating sometimes. I feel like I am in a holding pattern a lot of times. Every time I look around I see things I would like to do, but it's a slow process.  

 

I can't seem to get this post started. I have started several, don't get me wrong, and I have so many things I want to write about. But, once I start typing, it seems as though my thoughts escape me. So, while I'm not going to write about anything I actually have been thinking about recently, lol, maybe that's a good thing. I made a yummy dinner for the kids and I tonight. 

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It's Crushed Peppercorn & Garlic Shrimp which I made with 1 lb of shrimp, 1 tsp olive oil, the juice of 1 sm lemon, and a tsp of Crushed Peppercorn & Garlic Rub (from The Pampered Chef), I mixed everything together and saute'd the shrimp until done (about 10-12 minutes), the shrimp had excellent flavor! 

Side dish was Lemon and Thyme Potatoes and Asparagus. I cooked this in my Pampered Chef Micro Cooker in the microwave, but you can also do this stove top by boiling. I took 7 md red potatoes and cubed them, 1 1/2 tbsp olive oil, 1tsp lemon zest, 1 tsp of thyme, and 1 tsp of Sea Salt, then I covered the potatoes with water and microwaved for 12 minutes. Meanwhile I took 1lb of asparagus spears and cut the bottoms off and then cut the remainder into 2 in pieces. After the 12 minutes, I took the potatoes out and stirred in the asparagus. I cooked the potatoes and asparagus for another 12 minutes. Once done I let them sit and steam with the cover on for about 2 more minutes. I then drained the water and served. Now, I did find that the flavor was lacking on this a little, so I added 1/2 tsp of the Peppercorn and Garlic Rub that I used on the shrimp and that gave it the flavor boost I was looking for. 

This was actually a hit with the kids as well. When they actually eat their dinners I feel like I've done my job. 

Tomorrow I go for my Nuclear Stress Test. I'm not really looking forward to it. I'm actually pretty nervous. I have grown to hate hospitals and Doctors. This is a huge reason I really can't bear to have another baby. I'm not really nervous about what the test will say, I'm reasonably sure that I am perfectly fine.  However, I really hate the way I'm treated by most medical personnel. I hate the feeling like if you don't do everything they say they are going to tie you to the hospital bed and force it on you anyway. Whether or not you think it's the right thing to do or not. I hated when each time I was there having my kids (all different hospitals/Dr's, mind you), I felt like they would just do stuff and not really explain everything and why things were necessary. By the time I had my fourth baby, of course, I was a little better at standing up for myself, but not by much. 

As for other babies. I disliked being pregnant, each and every time I did it. I just never got that "glow" or those good feelings. It wore me out, I was sick most of the time, and it just sucked in general. The best part of 4 of those pregnancies; the babies. It really wasn't any fun giving birth, and the recoveries weren't a cake walk. However, I will say that out of all the recoveries I had, my c-section was the hardest. The normal births, sure they hurt, but I wasn't in nearly the pain as I was from the section. And I think that is why I had a harder time bonding with Keeley, even to this day, I was too drugged afterward to hold her for hours, and not having my husband there... it was the toughest thing I ever had to do on my own. I had a wonderful friend there and I will never be able to repay her for helping me get through, but it was no picnic. I have to say that it makes me sad sometimes to see how big Brenna gets day by day, knowing that I won't have another baby coming along in a year or so.  On the other hand, as selfish as it may make me, I get a little bit excited knowing that as the kids grow older and can do more things on their own, I can do more things for myself and it's not about them every waking moment. They are the biggest part of my life and my day, my world for that matter, but I've realized that I have to start taking back a little bit of myself every once in a while otherwise I'm just not the mom I should be for them. I don't know if that will add up to more date nights in the future, but I know that I have do things without the kids sometimes, even if it's just going to the Doctor on my own.

Anyway, I pre- ordered Tangled for the kids way back when they first started taking orders for it and I have to say that they have been watching that movie over and over and over again, and I find myself watching it with them most times. Disney is just a wonderful thing. Of course this has brought back renewed begging to go to Disneyland pretty much daily. The year we had premium season passes was one of the best ever! Even though we didn't get to go nearly as many times as I wanted to, we went enough times to more than get our money's worth, between the discounts on eating and merchandise and the ticket prices themselves. Disneyland has it made. They know how to keep people going back over and over and over again, no matter how high their prices are. Sure, you can cheap it up, and we did that quite a bit, but the times that we didn't when we stayed on the Disney property and when we ate at the places on the property, immersing yourself in the experience, that was magic. Of course, we can't afford to do that every time, but the time we did it, was awesome. I'm only sad that the last time we went, well, I didn't know it would be the last time, and I ended up losing most of the pictures from that trip. I'm sure Meghan remembers it, Killian does vaguely, but Keeley has no clue. She has no idea since she was about Brenna's age or a little bit younger the last time we went. I don't know when we are going to get the opportunity to go again, but I can't hardly wait, either. 

It's just one of those things...

I had a huge post typed out, but it wasn't really what I wanted to say. The kids have been interrupting like crazy as only they can do, and I think I got way off track and rambling. Much more than usual, lol. Now that everyone is settled down I don't really feel much like re typing it all out, but I do want to put a post out there tonight. 

I didn't hear boo from the husband today, but then he's super busy with school and studying hard and all that good stuff and I didn't text him cause I didn't want to bother him. I hate that he has crap reception in his room and he's in class for long hours and then he has to spend all of his free time studying. On the other hand, I'm so thankful that we don't live close to the Quantico because if I was that would just be way too much stress, this whole being apart thing is a cake walk compared to what it would be like if he had to be home at night or weekends. Our house and quiet are two very different sides of the noise spectrum, at all times, unless the kids and dogs are all sleeping. So while, I hate not hearing him, I know he's safe. While I hate being so far away, I know it's the best thing for our family. Knowing those things doesn't make any of this any less hard, or any easier to deal with. 

I have a list full of things that I would like to have done in the next couple of months, on top of the crochet projects I'm working on, and on top of the regular house work that has to be done daily and weekly. I need to put the kids to work more, but I'm torn with that, too. Keeley can't do a whole lot, in fact it's more of an effort to make her pick something up than to just do it myself. The two older kiddos are a huge help with everything, I don't know what I would do without them. I know that I have to give Keeley a few more years, but it gets really frustrating sometimes. I think that's how I know that I'm done having babies. I get irritated way too easily that they make so much mess and can't pick up after themselves. I know that it can be that way with all of us, but I am most definitely at my max. My patience only goes so far and sometimes it just doesn't stretch quite far enough.

Aftermath

Well, I know that there are several more people reading this than there were before. I feel a little pressure with this post, to make it worth your while for taking time out of your busy busy lives to read about what I am doing. Lol, yea, there really is no pressure, I'm sure. It's just something I do to myself. You might say, "well then stop doing it". That is kind of like telling an alcoholic or drug addict to just quit. Yea, I went there. Really, it is. I mean, that's how I imagine it anyway. Addicts need there "fix" in order to function. Pressure, while it may stress me out and may not be good for me physically or mentally, or in any other way, pressure is like my fix. I'm sure that sounds concerning to some, so I guess I'll try to explain it some more. I think I've been through so many different things, things where I've been under pressure, that I don't know how to do things when there is no pressure, so I create it. I could get up, get the kids ready, and be out the door by 8 or 9 am when I have places to be or appointments, but instead I usually have trouble going to bed the night before something like that, so then I inevitably get up late. Then with breakfast for the kids, and getting dressed, and getting me dressed and taking care of the dogs and whatnot, it becomes lunch time before we are ready to roll. Now, if there is someplace I really have to be by a certain time, I still do all of the above, except now I yell more and get stressed out and make everyone move faster and get myself all worked up. We get there, but it was no fun for anyone. And yet even after that experience, I continue to wash and repeat. It's not just procrastination, it's the fact that if I don't feel that pressure, it's just not going to happen.

So, anyway, I keep losing my train of thought, so if I keep going with that, at some point it's going to start to sound randome and rambling, because not only am I working on this but I'm also baking chocolate chip cookies, boiling eggs for my salads for the next few days, and microwaving little pizzas for the kiddos for a late dinner. So, I keep leaving in the middle of a thought to go take care of one thing or the other and I am getting off track. I am good at multitasking, but usually something will still get lost in translation. With all of the things I have to remember, you would think that I would forget a lot more than I do, yet when the husband or kids come lookinf for something that surely I had to have touched, I can usually manage to find it, even if I didn't see where they left it. Now, there have been occassions where said item has not been found, but that usually means it was not left at the house like the searcher is absolutely sure they did. If it's not in the house, I claim no responsibility, yet somehow, it's still usually my fault.

There are some things, I really don't make any effort to remember, because kind of like that episode of Spongebob Squarepants where Squidward tells him to forget everything else and only remember things about fancy restraunts, if I'm sometimes scared that if I try to memorize one more thing, something else of importance will just drop off the map and I'll never even know until it's too late. When I get asked my name, I might not be able to tell you....

Well, I wanted to bake one more batch of cookies tonight, but I may have to stop at one cause it's getting late and the plan is to spend tomorrow at my parent's house, which is what we do on Sunday's, or at least we have sine the hubby has been gone, that's pretty much the most structured thing we have going on here right now.

I just have to say before I close this for the night that I have a myriad of friends with husbands who have just or will be coming home shortly. I am so happy for them. I just wanted to acknowledge them and say a big 

WELCOME HOME!!!

 

Preface

I'm going to start sharing what's in my head again with the people who matter most in my life, my family and friends. This blog has manged to stay pretty private since I started it back in 2008. I don't know how I managed it, but I had a place where I felt sort of anonymous. The problem with that is, now that I've decided to share and let people in on more than just my rantings on Facebook, they can read the archives if they so choose and see where I've been off and on for the last 3 1/2 - 4 years. It hasn't been pretty. Luckily, it was also pretty hit and miss. Consistently inconsistent, that's me. OF course, a lot more self deprecating than most are used to seeing from me. But, again, I've been fairly true to myself here because I haven't felt that I was under any sort of pressure to be anything other than me.

If by chance you do go back to the 2008-09 archives, I will warn you now that the language is kind of vulgar, I don't know why I felt the need to write the words, lol, but I did, and there they are. Now, I could go through and delete my archives and I would be totally off the hook for things I said because very few people read them, but again, that wouldn't be true to me, and it gets tiring hiding or squashing the things that go through my head, fair or unfair. The thing is when you read a blog, unless you are reading a blog where more than one person posts, you are only getting one side of the story. And we all know that there are two or more sides to every story, there is what each person involved interpretted and then there is the truth. I can only speak my interpretation, my truth. And sometimes the way I feel, whether it right or wrong, that is my truth.



Life is a daily struggle. We are all going down our paths, some skip and whistle down their paths and don't let anything bother them, some have paths that are full of twists and turns and dips enough to make them sick to their stomach, and some have paths filled with potholes and downed trees and high fences that just never seem to end. For those of us who seem to have more trials than some, the days where the sun shines through and we can just breath deeply and be, are days we stop and just remember that we are alive and well and there are people out there who love us and care and we can just stop for a moment and be thankful for the small things. There will be plenty to complain about tomorrow. ;0)

 So, in a nutshell, what you will find when you read my blog, whether you read my archives or you read future posts, what you will find is a heavy dose of me, with a little more of me on the side, plus the husband and kids, dogs, parents, inlaws, and everything in between. If it touches me in anyway, I will probably have an opinion on it. Feel free to comment if you wish, but don't feel obligated. I will assume from this point on that I have a bigger audience than I did with just the world, but don't expect me to hold back. I talk about the kids and I use names, but because this is out there where anyone can find it if they try, I don't name names, those who know me know who I'm referring to when I use generalizations and while I can't confirm or deny, if I talk about you, you will probably know it.

 So, with all of that said, Happy Reading. Enjoy my blog! When I blog I will post that I did so on my Facebook, but you can follow me as well (there is a button over on the side that says something like Follow or Follow this Blog), and if you follow you will probably get notifications automatically when I post more.

Welcome to my kind of crazy!

Pics, Hospitals, Earrings, and Missing my Hubby, oh my.......

Things have sure been busy around here. Two weekends ago the kids and I went over to the park across the street and had their pics done by a photographer that was doing a special for homeschoolers. I think the pics turned out pretty good, I will have to share some as soon as I put them on this computer. I just got my laptop back on Monday after HP had it for a week. Turns out my hard drive crashed and they had to put a new one in. I'm a little hesitant to put too much important stuff on this one now. Luckily, since I had just gotten it after Christmas, I hadn't had a lot of time to put too much important stuff on it anyway, so I didn't lose a whole lot of info. I do back up my stuff fairly regularly, but probably not regularly enough. My Toshiba has been a trooper though for the last 5 years and thank goodness I had it when this one took a crap otherwise I would have been SOL for the almost two weeks it took to send it in and get it back.

My oldest had her ears pierced almost 8 weeks ago now. I helped her make sure they got cleaned and turned as recommended the whole time. The bothered her a little bit, but she's been real good about it. I took them out two weeks ago and one bled quite a bit. I cleaned it real good and cleaned the earring and put it back in. We went back to the cleaning and turning schedule. The ear is still sore. It's not red, and it doesn't look infected. Took the earring out again tonight and it bled just a tiny bit. I think it's almost healed, but I'm just not sure why it's still sore or why it's taking so long to heal. We are going to try putting the regular earrings in tomorrow. Her grandma bought her two pairs that are 10k gold, so hopefully it will help. We'll continue cleaning them each time she puts some in or takes them out. I'm going to give it two more weeks and if they aren't completely healed by then I guess we will have to see the Dr or she will have to take them out for good and let them close. Although, I think mine are still there even though I never wear earrings anymore.

Last week I started feeling really bad, to include some shortness of breath and chest pain. So, my brother went with me and I went to the ER. I think it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. I really dislike hospitals, Dr's and the like. I just have terrible feelings for all of the above. It ranks up there with the horrors of my c-section as the toughest things I've been through. Anyway, I ended up being admitted for observation, and was poked, and prodded, and squeezed, and kept awake, among many other things. In the end, the tests all came out okay and they let me go home the next afternoon. I have a follow up test scheduled for the first week in April and probably a couple other appointments after that. It was a big wake up call to me. It really sucked being away from my kids all night and part of the day and they really didn't understand what was going on. They did very well with my parents and I'm so grateful that my parents could be there, but not being able to take care of things myself....let's just say I despise feeling so helpless. I don't know exactly how to fix my situation, but I'm going to do everything I can so that I don't have to be away from them again because of my health.

Of course during this whole episode, my family was wonderful, and I couldn't have gotten through it without them, but I miss my husband something fierce. I really need him and his reassurance and his support, and all I could have was a few text messages and short conversations by phone. Honestly, I know it's better than nothing at all, and if he had been here, he probably would have been with the kids anyway, or he would have been tougher on me than I was onmyself and wouldn't have babied me at all, but I still wanted him. Two more months.....



Just breathe

Some days I don't know how I do it. By the end of the day, my head is pounding, it hurts think. Then my head hits the pillow and my brain comes alive and I can't sleep usually for another hour, sometimes two. I don't have a TV in the bedroom anymore, when we moved, I opted not to have one, and even when the hubby retires and moves back in full time, if I have any influence, we will still not have a TV in the bedroom, it's just not necessary. But, anyway, so after I lay there a while, I usually get on my iphone. I don't know that I'll ever ban phones from the bedroom, lol....

Besides school with the kids, I'm working on several projects right now. I am working on my first custom crochet project, a blanket for a pregnant friend. It's my first paying gig. I have money on the way for my next three projects which I will probably be starting by the end of next week. It's rather exciting. And of course, I have my own projects to work on in between paying projects. And then on top of that, I am working on getting everything together so I can start school either this summer or fall semester. I'm not sure which will work out money wise, so it's kind of up in the air right now. The nice thing, is that as long I get my request to transfer credits in, I already have one semester completely done, plus an extra half a credit. But, that leaves me with three semesters to complete for graduation with an AA. Not that I can do much with an AA, but it's a start. After that, I will have to figure out funding for the next two years, but I am hopeful that by the time that time rolls around, I will have it figured out. 

So, yea, busy busy busy around here....

Some days I have to just think about breathing.

Opportunity Knocks......

It's been a very interesting week. I have a new opportunity knocking on my door. As some of you know I've starting taking custom orders for my crochet projects, and I have my first couple of orders. It's absolutely amazing. Once I get some clipart for my website and get my things in the store, I'm hoping I will have so many custom orders my head will spin. It's good to be successful at something. And while I have much to do with home schooling and teaching and caring for the kids and trying like hell to keep up on the house. So, among all that stuff, with the hubby being promoted to Warrant Officer, I now qualify for MyCAA. I never thought I would. I've requested transcripts again and submitted paperwork. I have a few more questions for the MyCAA people that aren't answered in their FAQ and as soon as I put those to rest, I just have to decide if I'm really going to use it. And if I'm going to do it, am I going to follow through? I'm really bad at follow through. If I start this program, I want to do it and get through it and finish it this time. The time for starting school and stopping and starting again, I'm just too old for that at this point.

On the other hand. I starting using a different book for Killian's reading. I'm using Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. Killian is doing really well with it. I would very much like to find a good program to use for speech therapy since Tricare does not cover it. So far one that intrests me the most is very expensive. I know it's just because he is not forming the letters or blends together properly, he can hear it but he can't seem to imitate it, or I can't help him imitate it properly. I kind of feel that is a reflection on my teaching abilities. He has grown out of a lot of his speech issues, but the ones that are lingering still make him difficult to understand at times. I don't know if he would be any better if he was in public school though. I mean, he is just in Kindergarten. I just don't know how much time it should take and everything, I don't want him to have an permanent speech problems.

Anyway.

Crocheting

I've been super busy lately. Okay, well that was kind of a joke, when am I not busy with something? That was also more of a rhetorical question....

I have been working on several crochet projects for my kiddos. A blanket for Meg and a blanket for Keeley. I have several other projects for the kids planned as well. I'm hoping at some point during the year I will have enough time to get some extras made so I can maybe take some custom orders.

We've been watching Secretariat lately. I love horse movies. And Secretariat is an awesome horse movie. He was an awesome horse and no horse has ever come close to him since. Just an awesome story all around. I think we will watch this over and over and over again. It's no surprise that Meg loves the movie as well, but the other kids actually enjoy it too.

Well, the husband get his appointment tomorrow. I wish the kids and I could be there for it. It seems like we can never be where he's at for anything of importance. It's kind of a downer.

On my own again....

I don't know if I mentioned it before, but I'm on my own again. The husband is at WOBC. Graduation is supposed to be in May. We wanted to fly the kids and I to Quantico for his graduation so that I could finally be part of some kind of graduation/promotion, and then we could spend a few days doing the tourist thing because I have always wanted to see Washington DC and all the historical stuff. I have loved history for as long as I can remember, but particularly US history. Unfortunately, I have resigned myself to the fact that this trip is not going to happen. Becoming a Warrant Officer costs a lot more money than one might think. We won't really see much of the raise in pay until next year probably. Between uniforms and dinners and all the other crap they make them pay for, it's almost like we are paying them to to give him a promotion instead of them paying him for taking on the responsibility. That's our government for you.

So, as disappointed as I am that I'm not going to get to go, it's just like pretty much everything else we try to do. Things just never seem to work out exactly as we wanted them to. It's kind of tiring.

Happy New Year!

I realize that we are already half a month into the New Year, but it's taken me a while to get into this. My mojo is seriously lacking. Could be because I miss my husband. Could be many things, I suppose. I can't exactly put a finger on it. There is so much to be done around here as far as the house goes. So much I'd like to do decorating wise. And just honestly, so much more upkeep than I can really keep up with all by myself. And I've been letting it go. For more than a week now. I started getting it together the other day. But, yea, that didn't last long. At least school is going better than the housekeeping. We have been doing good since the holiday's have been over. We are on a good roll. I would, however, like to find a different program for Killian to learn reading. I don't actually think we are making the progress we should be. That and I feel like he should be getting some kind of speech therapy. I've tried to find something online I could use, and yes, there are all sorts of things I could buy, but they want a lot of money for most of them, and I don't want to buy stuff that doesn't work. Of course, the husband and other's seems to think he will outgrow most of it, and while he has gotten much better, I'm worried that he won't speak correctly. Insurance will not cover speech therapy, so I'm not even sure what I should try next. I'm not putting him in public school just so he can have an hour of speech therapy every week, that's ridiculous in my opinion.

There is probably a lot more I should talk about, but this is going to be it for tonight. Maybe I will start doing this regularly again at some point, I don't know, the last year or so blogging just hasn't really been my thing. I don't know why. I have a lot that I want to say and put out there, but I constantly feel like I have to censor myself for certain people. The more opinionated I get, the more I have to censor. I could choose not to censor at all of course, but I have a feeling I would make many many more enemies than I currently have. I just don't need that kind of drama.

Anyway, until next time.